Ah, feeling stuck in life?

Don’t you just love that sensation of being in a hamster wheel going nowhere fast? Well, if you’re looking for a surefire way to maintain your misery, you’ve come to the right place. Mark Manson’s “9 Steps to Being a Miserable Person” video outlines all the habits you need to adopt to ensure you never reach your goals or find true fulfillment. So, buckle up and get ready for a deep dive into each of these habits, because we’re about to get miserable up in here!

1. Always BLAME others for your problems

Oh, blaming others for your problems is such a brilliant idea! I mean, who needs to take responsibility for their own life anyway? It’s so much easier to just point fingers and play the victim. Why bother looking inward and figuring out how you might be contributing to the issue? That would require some serious self-reflection and effort. Plus, if you blame others for everything, you never have to admit any fault or apologize for your mistakes. Sounds like the perfect way to live life without any growth or personal development.

2. Engage in constant COMPLAINING

Who needs to focus on solutions when you can just wallow in your misery and spread negativity to those around you? Complaining is like a contagious disease, infecting everyone who comes into contact with you. It’s a surefire way to make sure people avoid you like the plague. Plus, if you complain enough, maybe the universe will magically solve all your problems for you! Who needs personal agency and action when you can just whine and hope for the best?

3. AVOID challenges

Avoiding challenges is definitely the way to go if you want to live a mediocre life. Why bother stepping out of your comfort zone and experiencing new things when you can just stay in the same old routine day in and day out? Challenges are overrated anyway. Who needs growth and development when you can just coast through life on autopilot? Plus, if you avoid challenges long enough, you’ll never have to face the possibility of failure. And who wants that? It’s much safer to just stay in your cozy little bubble and never take any risks. So go ahead, stick to what you know and avoid anything that might challenge you. Just don’t be surprised when life starts to feel dull and unfulfilling.

4. Wait for SOMEONE TO FIX YOUR PROBLEM

Why bother with the stress of solving your own problems when you can just sit back and wait for someone else to do it for you? After all, someone else is surely more qualified to fix your life than you are. And if they don’t solve your problems to your satisfaction, you can always blame them for the mess that your life has become.

5. Get ANGRY IF OTHERS CAN’T FIX YOUR PROBLEMS

If someone can’t fix your problems, don’t take it as a challenge to find a solution. Instead, get angry! Show them how disappointed you are in their inability to fix your mess. It’s their fault for not being able to magically solve your problems, right?

But let’s face it, others have their own problems to deal with. They have their own lives, their own stresses, and their own limitations. It’s not fair to expect them to be your personal problem-solvers. Plus, who needs personal growth and development when you can just rely on others to fix everything for you?

So, go ahead and throw that tantrum. Blame others for your problems. After all, it’s not like you have the power to improve your situation or anything.

6. Get obsessed with WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU

Ah, the sweet sound of validation from others. Nothing quite like it, right? Wrong! If you want to live a life of misery and unhappiness, then by all means, get obsessed with what other people think of you. Spend all your time worrying about how others perceive you and what they’re saying behind your back. It’s a foolproof way to constantly feel insecure and inadequate.

After all, who needs self-confidence and a strong sense of self-worth when you can just base your entire identity on the opinions of others? It’s not like you have anything better to do with your time than obsess over what Karen from accounting thinks about your new haircut or whether that random person on social media liked your latest post.

7. Validate your THOUGHTS AND IDEAS in social media

Ah, social media — the perfect place to seek validation for your every thought and idea. After all, if it’s not on social media, did it really happen?

The answer is, of course, no. Your entire existence is meaningless without the likes, comments, and shares of strangers on the internet. So, don’t waste your time actually believing in yourself and your own abilities. Instead, post every single thought that comes to mind and see how many people will validate you.

And if you don’t get the validation you think you deserve, well, just keep posting until you do. After all, who needs real-life connections and relationships when you have followers on social media? They’re the only ones who truly understand you, right?

So, keep scrolling through your social media feed, comparing yourself to others, and posting every little thing you think or do. It’s the surefire way to a joyless life filled with anxiety, self-doubt, and a desperate need for validation. Who needs real happiness and fulfillment when you can have a few seconds of validation from strangers on the internet?

8. NUMB yourself

Numbing yourself is easy. Just find a substance or activity that dulls your senses and keeps you from feeling anything at all. Alcohol, drugs, and binge-watching Netflix are all great options. Who needs to experience the ups and downs of life when you can just float along in a haze of numbness?

Sure, you might miss out on the highs of love and success, but you’ll also avoid the lows of heartbreak and failure. Plus, think of all the money you’ll save on therapy! Who needs to confront their issues and work through their problems when you can just numb them away?

So, grab a drink, pop a pill, and settle in for a life of monotony and emptiness. Numbing yourself might not bring joy, but at least you won’t feel anything at all.

9. Believe that change is IMPOSSIBLE

Welcome to the ultimate step to a joyless life! If you’ve followed all the previous steps, then you’re well on your way to a life of complete and utter misery. But wait, there’s one more step that will seal the deal and ensure that you never experience happiness or fulfillment ever again: believing that change is impossible.

Yes, that’s right. If you want to live a joyless life, you must convince yourself that you are stuck in your current situation and that nothing can be done to improve it. Don’t bother trying to make changes, because what’s the point? You’re doomed to a life of misery, so you might as well just accept it.

Why bother setting goals or pursuing your dreams? It’s not like you can actually achieve them, right? Don’t even bother trying to improve yourself or your circumstances. Just sit back, relax, and resign yourself to a life of mediocrity.

Well, there you have it, folks. Nine foolproof steps to a joyless life. From blaming others for your problems to seeking validation on social media, these habits are sure to keep you stuck in a never-ending cycle of misery and unfulfillment. But hey, who needs personal growth and development when you can just coast through life on autopilot, right? So go ahead, embrace your misery, and keep living that mediocre life. Just don’t be surprised when you look back and realize how much time and potential you wasted. Thanks for joining me on this sarcastic journey through the habits of the truly miserable. Until next time, keep on complaining, avoiding challenges, and blaming others for your problems!